Angry is not a disease

flaka;s hkjo@ tal f,vla fkfuhs'

  fldamh" tfyu;a ke;akï ;ry hdu wms yeu flfklau w;aú|,d ;sfhk fohla' idudkahjfhka ;ryd fkdhk flfkla fydhd.kak neß ;rï' kuq;a fndfyda fofkl=g ;ry md,kh lr.ekSug yelshdjla kE' ta ú;rla fkfuhs ;ukag we;sjk marrfldamldÍ ye.Sï .ek úia;r lrkak;a neye' fï ;;ajhg fya;=j ;uhs emotional illiteracy ” tfyu;a ke;akï Ndjhka ms,sn| kQ.;alu'

fldamh lshkafka w;sYhskau
idudkahy udkqISh ye.Sula' yeu flfklagu ;ry we;s fjkak mq¿jka' weßiafgdag,a mçjrhd lshk wdldrhg The man who is angry at the right things and with the right people and further as he ought when he ought and as long as he ought is praised '” ^ksjerÈ fohg iy ksjerÈ mqoa.,hdg tfrysj fldamúhhq;= wjia:dfõÈ fldam jk mqoa.,hd w.h l< hq;=hs'&' we;a; jYfhkau fldamh we;slr,d ;sfhkafka wfma wdrlaIdjg' wms hï ;¾ckhlg uqyqK §,d bkak fj,djg ta ;;ajhg uqyqK fokak fldamh;a tlal wfma YÍrfha iy ukfia we;sfjk fjkialï jeo.;a fjkjd'

kuq;a" wo fjkfldg wms fldamh olskafka frda. we;slrk" whym;a ye.Sula úÈhghs' talg fya;=j ;uhs mßkdufha uq,a hq.fha§ wms uqyqK §mq ;¾ckhka wmsg fï fjkfldg ke;s ùu' ta ksid fldamh fya;=fjka we;sjk ldhsl iy udkisl fjkiaùï fï fjkfldg Ndú;hg .efkkafk wvqfjka' t;fldg ta fjkialï wfma ldhsl iy udkisl ksfrda.SNdjhg ydks lrkjd' kuq;a ;ry we;sfjk tl mßkduh;a tlal wvqfj,d kE' tal md,kh lr.kafk fldfyduo@

;ry md,kh lr.kak l,ska wmsg ;ry hkafk wehs lsh,d fydh,d n,kak fjkjd' f,dalfha lrmq wèh hkhlg wkqj mqoa.,hkaf.ka 28]lau fldam fjkafk lsisu fya;=jla ke;=j' kuq;a idudkahkfhka flfkla fldamhg m;a fjkak lsishï uQ,sl fya;=jla ^antecedent& n,mdkjd' tfyu fya;=jla we;sjqk;a yeu flfklau fldam fjkafk kE' talg n,mdk lreKq folla ;sfhkjd'

01& ye.Su ) lsishï isÿùula ksid ukfia we;sjk mafrfldamldÍ ye.Su" fõokdj iy wmyiq;djh'

02& is;k wdldrh ) we;sjQ isÿùu ms<sn| is;k wdldrh' ^thd tal Wjukdfjkau ug ßoaokak lrmq fohla&

hï isÿùula ksid flfklag marhfldamldÍ ye.Sula we;s fkdjqk;a ta isÿùu ksid ;j;a flfkl=g marifldamldÍ ye.Sula we;sfjkak mq¿jka' ta jf.au tlu isoaêh ksid marifldamldÍ ye.sula we;s jqk fokafkla ta .ek is;k wdldrh tlsfklg fjkia fjkak mq¿jka' ta jf.au tlu mqoa.,hdg tlu wdldrfha isÿùï follÈ oefkk ye.sï iy is;k wdldrh fjkia fjkak mq¿jka' ta ksid flfklag ;ry hkafk fldhs fj,djgo lsh,d l,ska lshkak wudrehs' kuq;a tla tla mqoa.,hdf.a fm!reI ,laIK wkqj ks;r ks;r fldam fjk iy idudkah fhka wvqfjka fldamhg m;afjk mqoa.,hka oel.kak mq¿jka'

fï jf.a is;=ú,s iy ye.Sï we;sùu;a tlal wfma YÍrfha úúO fjkialï we;sfjkjd' tajd fndfyduhla ldxiduh frda. ,laIK'

flfklaf.a fï lshk úÈfha mafrdfldamldÍ ye.Sï iy is;=ú,s we;sjqk;a taflka ydks fjkak mq¿jka ;ukag ú;rhs' tal §¾>ld,Skj we;s fjk ydkshla' kuq;a ta ye.sï iy is;=ú,s j,g wkqj laßtahd;aul jqfkd;a ta ;;ajh Bg jvd ÿrÈ. hkak mq¿jka' ta ksid fldamh .ek wjfndaO lr.ekSu;a fldamh md,kh lr.ekSu;a jeo.;a'fldamh wÈhr lSmhlg fjka lrkak mq¿jka' tfyu fjka lrmq plarkhg wms lshkjd “aggression cycle” ^Mason and Chandley" 1999∙Breakwell" 1997 Breakwell ^1997 &" cited in Faupel et al" ^1998&& lsh,d'

01& Trigger ) fldamh we;slrk idOlh

02& Escalation ) fldamh jeälrk idOl ^is;=ú,s$ye.Sï&

03& Anger Aggressive outburst ) fldamh msg lsÍu

04& Recovery stage ) fldamh is£ hk wjia:dj

05& Post)anger depression stage ) fldamùu .ek l<lsÍu

fuhska m<uq wÈhr ;uhs fldamh we;s lrk idOl' WodyrKhlska meyeÈ,s lf,d;a Trigger lshkafka r;s[a[djla m;a;= lrkak Ndú;d lrk .sksl+r jf.a' ta idOlh tla tla mqoa.,hg fjkia fjkjd' wms l,ska l;d l,d jf.a ´kEu f,dl= fyda l=vd isoaêhla fldamh we;slrk idOlhla fjkak mq¿jka' tjeks isoaêhla ksid úYd, ydkshla úh yelshs' tjekaklska je,lSu i|yd fldamh md,kh lr.kak;a wmg fï wjia:dfõ§u mgka.kak mq¿jka' WodyrKhla úÈhg flfkla Tnj wmyiq;djhg ,la lf,d;a Tng wdldr follg yeisfrkak mq¿jka' tl úÈhla ;uhs ta mqoa.,hdg nek je§u' fofjks úÈh ;uhs th .Kka fkdf.k isàu' Tng fldamh we;s lrk iq¿ iq¿ idOl .Kka fkdf.k ysáfhd;a Tn fldam jk wjia:d .Kk ie,lsh hq;= ma¾udKhlska wvq lr.kak mq¿jka'

fofjks wÈhr ;uhs fldamh jeälrk idOl' Escalation lshkafk yßhg r;s[a[djl fjä kQ, jf.a' m;a;= l,dg miafia È.gu m;a;= fjù .syska wka;sug r;s[a[dj mqmqrjkak fjä kQ,g mq¿jka' fï wjia:dfõ§ wfma YÍrfha iy ukfia úúO fjkialï oel.kak mq¿jka'

1' wksÉPdkq.j we;sjk udxYfmaIs j, ^úfYaIfhkau fn,af,a iy uqyqfKa& ;o .;sh'

2' o;a ñá lEu

3' iajikh lrk jdr .Kk jeä ùu

4' uqyqK r;= ùu iy isref¾ reêr .ukd.ukh jeäùu

5' iqÿue,s ùu

6' oyäh oeóu

7' oeä WKqiqula fyda iS;,la oekSu

8' w;a md fõõ,Su

9' YÍrfha frdau b,smamSu

10' yDo iamkaokh fõ.j;a ùu

11' weâßak,Ska Yard jh ùu iy YÍrfha ;ekam;a fïoh reêr.; iSks njg mßj¾;kh ùu‍

fujeks fjkialï we;s fjkak n,mdkafka wms l,ska l;d lrmq is;=ú,s iy yeÛSï' Tn fldamhg m;a jQ nj oek.;a úg thska ;jÿrg;a jk ydksh j,lajd.kak mq¿jka' fujeks YdÍßl fjkialï iy ta iu. we;sjk udkisl l,n,ldÍ nj we;s jQ úg Tfí fldamh kue;s fjä kQ, .sksf.k wjika' oeka l,hq;af;a r;s[a[dj mqmqrd hdug fmr fjä kQ, ksjd oeóuhs' ta i|yd fï úÈfha mshjr lsysmhla wkq.ukh lrkak mq¿jka'

01& Tn lrñka isá jevh kj;ajd fldamhg m;aùug n,mE mßirfhka uola bj;g hkak'

02& lsysmj;djla .eUqßka yqiau f.k fiñka msglrkak'

03& Tn i;=gg m;ajk ia:dkhlg hkak'

04& ldhsl õhd;hduhl ksr; jkak' ^nhsisl,hl mÈkak&

05& ks¾udKhla lrkak'

06& Okd;aul is;=ú,s we;slr.kak' ^isÿjQ isÿùfï hym;a ,laIK .ek is;kak&

07& úYajdijka; wfhl=f.a iyh b,a,d isákak'

08& .eg¿j úi|d.; yels fjk;a laßufõohka ms,sn| i,ld n,kak'

09& woyia m< lsÍug fmr uola is;d n,kak'

10& Tnf.a wlue;a; hym;a wdldrhg mar ldY lrkak'

11& Tn fldamhg m;aùu ms,sn| ydiahkh u;= lsÍug W;aid lrkak'

túg Tfí fjä kQ, weú,S fldamh kue;s r;s[a[dj mqmqrd hdfï wjodku ke;s l, yelshs'

;=kafjks wÈhr ;uhs mqmqrdhdfï wÈhr' tjeks wjia:djl fï úÈfha ,laIK oel.kak mq¿jka'

1' Tnf.a úreoaOjdÈhdg ldhslj myr§u fyda foam, j,g ydks isÿlsÍu'

2' iq¿ foa mjd wêl f,i fy,d oelSu

3' wka wh ms,sn| laI”l yd wñysß ;SrK j,g t<öu

4' udxY fmaIs ;olsÍu" w;a ñgfu<ùu" rjd ne,Su jeks wx.p,k oelaùu

5' wdfõ.YS,Sj yeisÍu

6' iudcfhka wE;aùu

7' mjrk ,o jev lsÍu mar ;slafIam lsÍu

8' kS;sÍ;s iy Wmfoia ms,sme§u marl;slafIam lsÍu

9' mßmd,k .eg¿ iy md,kh l< fkdyels foa .ek meñKs,s lsÍu

10' ;uka fldamhg m;a jQ wdldrfha laßehdldrlï j, fh§u maÍ;slafIam lsÍu

11' mßmd,khg fyda ;ukag by,ska isák whg wNsfhda. lsÍu

12' nek je§u fyda fkd.e,fmk jpk Ndú;h

fï wjia:dfõ§ Tng l< yels foa iSñ;hs' jvd jeo.;a fjkafka fï wjia:djg m;a fjkak l,ska tfia fkdùug wjYaho mshjr .ekSu' kuq;a yÈisfha fujeks ;;ajhlg Tn m;ajqfkd;a Tfí fldamh md,kh ùfuka miqj wod, mqoa.,hskaf.ka iudj b,a,d isáh yelshs' iudj b,a,Sfï mshjr ;=kla ;sfhkjd'

01& uf.ka jrola jQ nj ms,s.ksñ'

02& ta ms,sn| iudj b,a,d isáñ'

03& tu jro ksjerÈ lsÍug ug l< yelafla l=ulao@

kuq;a" iudj b,a,d isáh yels ksid yeu úgu Tfí fldamh mqmqrd hkakg bv fokak tmd' Tng fldamh .eg¿jla kï fldamh wvqlr.ekSu fjkqfjka ld,hla fjka lsÍu jeo.;a fõú' fldamh .eg¿jla fjkafk fldfyduo@

01& Tn ks;r fldam fjkjdo@

02& Tn fldam jQ úg §¾> ld,hla fldamh mj;skjdo@

03& ´kEu fohla .ek Tng fldamh we;s fjkjdo@

04& Tnj fldamh úiska md,kh lrkjdo@

05& wka wh md,kh lsÍug Tn fldamh Ndú;d lrkjdo@

06& Tn fldam jQ úg wdfõ.YS,S fjkjdo@

tfiakï Tng fldamh .eg¿jla úh yelshs' th md,kh lrkak mq¿jka' kuq;a ta fjkqfjka Tfí lemùu wjYahhhs'

01& ffokslj ldhsl õhdlhdu iy lh fjfyijk laÍmvd j, ^ÿr Èùu" nr bis,Su" fndlaiska" u,a,jfmdr" nhsisl,a me§u" msyskSu"ndialÜ fnda,a jeks& ksr; jkak'

02& Tfí Ôú;h foi Tn n,k wdldrh fjkia lr.ekSug W;aidy .kak' Okd;aul wdl,am we;s lr.kak'

03& Tng we;sjk ye.Sï" .eg¿ iy .eg¿ úi|d.kakd wdldrh wdÈh Èkfmd;l$c¾k,hl igyka lrkak'

04& ióm ñ;=frla iu. woyia fnod.kak'

05& jeäÿr Wmfoia i|yd udkisl fi!ÄhS jD;a;slfhl= yuqjkak'

álla È. ,smshla' kuq;a fldamh ms,sn|j Tng hula oek.kak ,efnkak we;s lsh,d úYajdi lrkjd' f,dalfha we;eï rgj, fldamh md,kh lrkak W.kajk mdGud,d meje;afjkjd' kuq;a wfma fÜ fuf;la tjeks ia:dk keye' fldfydujqk;a yels ;rï fldamh md,kh lr.kak W;aidy lsÍfuka f.dvla .eg¿ u.yrjd.kak mq¿jka' fldamh md,kh lsßu lshkafka fldamh ysf;a isrlrf.k isàu fkdfjhs' jvd;a iqÿiq wdldrhg msg lsÍuhs'

,smsh wmg ÿkafka ) Pradeep Chandana

fï ,smshg Tn leu;s kï fjk wh;a tlal;a fnod .kak''woyia lshkak​

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